Near's Revenge
by Crazy4Moony
Summary: Hal comes to Near's house, having forgot some papers.But what she finds isn't remotly related to papers and looks more like a fire-shooting-raging-blonde--in only his boxers, just like Near. WHAT?She decides to have a talk with Mello. N/M-but it's Hal POV


Near's revenge.

**AN: 1 No idea why this is named Near's Revenge--I just found it fitting. ****2 WARNING: Pointless-ness, mentions of sex, a suggestive Mello, a sowewhat shocked Near, and a fazed Hal. Ah wel. Oh, WARNING: probably loads of OOC-ness !**

It was a good day—a nice day, Hal dared say. Sunny and such. They hadn't had sun like this in a while. She sighed and wondered when Near would be up—two years since the Kira case, but all three still looked out for Near, were still in his house practically every day, even though he didn't need them. She knew they were not necessary. Knew that Near could handle these cases on his own. But he was still young and it felt good to be around him. She'd grown used to the pale boy, and so had the others, therefore she didn't wish to leave him alone. Even if he didn't need her help. She made great coffee and managed to make Near smile— it's all she asked for. She would let herself in (only if Near had a case he was working on, mind you, she wasn't so freaky that she actually needed to see him every single day) early in the morning, about half an hour before Near usually got up. She'd have coffee waiting, he'd always drink tea. Gevanni and Rester would join them not much after, they'd discuss a case, look up files, do stuff like that. Near did all the reasoning. He was logic, he figured the things out— they did the stuff that was not so important, but necessary. The wrapping-up, the actual informing the police that 'L' had found out who the criminal was, helped with the arrest. Oh really, Near could go without them. Hal just liked to pretend he couldn't.

She poured herself a cup of coffee. Today was a Sunday and she wasn't supposed to be there, though she knew Near wouldn't mind. She just came in to check on him, knowing he wasn't the most social being in the world, and would probably spend the day playing with his robots, or making some kind of puzzle upside down. Maybe enjoy a bath with lots of rubber ducks. Something equally funny and Near-like. She left Near's kitchen and walked into the hallway. It was oddly quiet in the house. She really didn't want to wake Near up, but was quite alarmed. Near never got up this late. Oh well, maybe he was tired, maybe he'd been up all night, searching something new and interesting to indulge in. That could be it.

She quietly walked up the stairs, remembering some papers she'd left on Near's desk the other day. Hal decided she could get them and then just leave a note on the kitchen table when she went back down. When she passed Near's bedroom, silently tiptoeing in front of the door, the first thing she noticed was that there was a light on in the room. Apparently someone had already opened the curtains, or put on the lamp on the night-table. Did this mean Near was awake? She stopped walking, eyeing the door suspiciously. Then she thought Kira had come back from the death to hunt them, and nearly died of a heart-attack. A voice came calling to her.

"Hey! Who the hell are you? And what the fuck 're you doing here?" The voice wasn't Near's, but sounded familiar. Hal turned around, looking at the staircase. For the second time in ten seconds flat she believed there was a God, and its name was Kira and it was to brutally murder her.

Oh, Hal could handle many things. Yes. She was good at handling things. But, honestly. A raging, gun-waving, impulsive, didn't-die-in-an-explosion-and-Kira-didn't-get-to-me-either, chocolate-addicted blonde, wearing practically nothing? How was she supposed to take that?

Hal put her hands on her hips, her glare not matching Mello's glare-of-independent-and-painful-doom, but no one's did, so she didn't care all that much.

"I could ask you the same thing!" She angrily whispered, still keeping in mind that Near was supposedly sleeping. And she couldn't help but feel slightly hurt—had she been so easy to forget? She'd seen Mello plenty of times, and she'd always... _admired_ the young man's lean form, the way his hair fell in front of his eyes, the way he nibbled that chocolate. He appeared to be clueless to her sole point in this world. That hurt. Recognition didn't reach his eyes, and she sighed. "I work with Near. And what the hell do you think you're doing here? And what's with the outfit?"

Mello quirked an eyebrow, and Hal felt like swooning. She could not deny that although Mello had been good-looking before, he'd grown into himself more. He looked more man of his body then he used to, soft coppery skin tending over lean muscles and slightly visible, pale scars. His rosary hung around his neck still, accentuating against his body, and his eyes were radiant as always.

"Oh, you're not familiar with this?" He sneered, gesturing his boxers. "It's underwear, something I might surely hope you're wearing under that skirt. Don't you think it'd be a little too come-and-get-me if you weren't?"

Hal blushed crimson and glared at him. Oh, but the boxers. They made him so much more Angel-of-darkness. Black and silky, low on his hips, way too big but extremely hot. Pff. What was she? Twelve? This was like a high-school crush or something. Bad. _Very_ bad. But worse when Mello pushed pass her without a word, disappearing in Near's bedroom.

What now? Was she supposed to follow him? What if he woke Ne...— her mind trailed off when she heard voices. Well apparently Near was already awake. Angry hissing, and then the bedroom door opened again. She stared at it, perplex. Mello emerged, still half-naked, and walked over to the bathroom, glaring at her as if they were two teenagers fighting over a lover, and she was going to steal away his girlfriend. Then she saw Near's petite form standing in the doorway, and realised that should have been 'and she was going to steal away his _boyfriend_'.

Near looked up at Hal with his big eyes, saying: "Good morning Hal. I didn't know you were coming over today." Polite as always.

It made her wonder if he even realised that he was half-naked. Half-naked as in he too was wearing only his boxer-shorts. White, completely opposite to the ones Mello was wearing. They reached right under his navel, the little thing standing out cutely. All things considered he was still young—only just a teenager. He was twirling a strand of white hair between his fingers, and although he had been talking to Hal, he was staring absentmindedly at the bathroom door.

"I was..." she didn't know where to begin really. Her mind was a bit distracted, and trying to comprehend the fact that Mello had just left Near bedroom, and they were _both_ barely clothed. "I left some papers and..." she trailed off nervously.

"I'm very sorry, I was still sleeping," Near apologised. "Do you want some coffee?"

"I already had some," she smiled lightly. "I'll just get the papers, and be out of your way."

"I like that idea." Mello's voice came from the bathroom.

"Don't be rude, Mello!" Near scolded. Then added, whispering: "don't mind him, he's always cranky in the morning."

"I heard that!"

Hal resisted the urge to roll her eyes, and looked down at Near instead. He walked towards the staircase.

"I was on my way to get tea," he said. "Will you join me in the kitchen?"

She nodded, quickly got her papers from the other room, and followed Near downstairs. When she entered the kitchen, Near was already boiling water. She sat down on one of the chairs, and waited for him to come join her. He poured the tea into three cups and offered one to Hal, after which he flopped down on the chair in front of hers.

"So," he began, carefully nipping at the tea to see if it wasn't too hot. "How are you this morning?"

"I'm okay, and you?" Hall asked casually. She didn't want to get into it; just forget the obvious.

"I'm good, thank you." He sipped some more tea, and Hal wrapped a hand around her own cup.

"Listen, Near," she began nervously. "I really didn't mean to interrupt anything, and if I've brought you inconvenience in any which way, you should really tell me, and I'll just leave."

"Please, Hal," Near smiled. "Don't feel like you're a bother. You're not interrupting, and if this is about Mello, please don't listen to a word he says—he's really a possessive, grumpy bastard when it comes down to it."

"You could've just said 'possessive', did you have to include 'grumpy bastard'?" Said blonde entered the kitchen—still in just his undies—and took the third cup from the table.

"Yes, because otherwise the description wouldn't have been complete." Near blinked once, as if Mello was a complete fool, and Hall laughed.

To her surprise, Mello too, just grinned. He kissed Near quickly in the corner of his mouth on his way to the counter, where he started searching the cupboards—for chocolate, probably.

"There's some in the one on the left." Near pointed and Mello moved towards it, happily pulling out a bar of dark chocolate—it was his favourite, Hall remembered.

He nibbled softly at the corner, and leaned contently against the counter, completely at ease with his chocolate and the tea. Near took another sip of his tea, and then suddenly got off his chair.

"I should change," he said, indicating his outfit. "I will be right back."

Mello rolled his eyes, mumbling something about him being fine the way he was, but Near just shook his head and left the room. There was a terribly uncomfortable silence, and Hall wished she knew what to say. But what could she say? There wasn't really anything that she wanted to know—everything she wanted to know, she'd prefer to hear from Near. Though, there was one thing...

"I didn't know," she began weekly, and Mello glared down at her. "That you were an item."

"Well, we are." He sneered, and bit off the melted corner of his chocolate bar.

"How long?" She asked. She knew she might sound a bit brisk and rude—but hey, Mello could handle it.

"Since we were still kids. We've always been an item," Mello said, apparently thinking. "For as long as I can remember, really."

"That can't be correct," Hall thought out loud, and tried to ignore the look Mello was giving her. "You've always been rivals."

"_No_, we've always _pretended_ to be rivals." Mello corrected her, and scratched a spot below his navel.

"I really had no clue." She sighed.

"Oh well, we fooled most, don't feel bad about it," Mello shrugged, and Hall thought he was softening up on her, which was good. "We're geniuses, if we don't want people to know, people don't know."

"But why would you not want people to know?" She asked—why would anyone ever want to keep their love a secret? But when she saw the hurt look on Mello's face, she thought she might know.

"Well, to be honest—because I feel like a perv enough as it is," he said, trying to smile, but not quite managing. "He's really still young and I... we just... they can know when he's older and it's not... well, illegal."

Hall nodded, she understood. Near was just a teenager, while Mello was over sixteen—he'd be seen as a paedophile. But she thought that as long as Near was happy, it shouldn't really matter—though she did think Mello had a point. She wasn't sure if she would want people to know about them if she were in his position. She wondered what she would do, were she Mello. But, since he was so unlike her, any reaction she came up with seemed out-of-place. Leave Mello business to Mello, she thought, and took a gulp of her tea.

Mello bit off another corner and Hall thought.

"But..." she began. "I was here yesterday?"

"Oh, so was I," Mello smirked. "I was tied to the bed."

At that moment Near entered the room again and Mello smirked. Hall looked shocked, first at Mello then at Near, who noticed something was wrong, but he couldn't quite figure out what—obviously Mello had said something, but there were loads of things he could've said that would cause this reaction.

"Oh yes," Mello continued when Hall remained shocked and Near remained clueless. "He's a masochist, that one. With all the fluffy whiteness, you wouldn't say, but it's very true," he tried on a believable pout, and would Hall not be so freaking stunned, she would've laughed. Near's eyes widened slightly, and suddenly Mello put down the chocolate, raced over to the boy in a daze of yellow and black, and lifted him. Near squealed and tried to wriggle out of Mello's grip, but found that he couldn't. "Actually, I think it's time for pay-back."

He hauled Near over his shoulder, marching out the door—the great ball of fluff stopped wriggling, afraid he'd tumble off, and said: "but Mello, I just changed."

"But Near," Mello mimicked the little boy's voice, and Hall leaned a bit to the right, so she could see them disappear up the stairs. "I like you better when you're naked."

And seconds later a door slammed and Hall blinked. She then resumed in drinking her tea, left a note, took her files and went home.

When she came back on Monday Near was exhausted and weird noises were heard upstairs every time he 'needed a bathroom break'. Everyone but Hall was surprised when he returned from 'the toilet' with half his buttons undone and a ruffled look about him. No one dared to question him though, not even Hall—she'd met Near's revenge: it's name was Mello, and it was blonde and wore black boxers. It was not nice.

_Fin._

**AN: So... I hope you liked it ;) It's just random, I suppose. Review anyways!**


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